Thursday, 26 October 2017
Sunday, 22 October 2017
Living Life Hard
I feel like in the last couple of months I've been "living life hard." Hence why my blogging has slowed down! What I mean by that is I am throwing myself into life again. My new job has been very busy but I absolutely LOVE it. I've been building relationships with my team and management and everyone is just awesome. It is definitely a work hard, play hard mentality which is great with me. I am surrounded by inspiring, smart people who care about their work - and it is contagious.
On the weekends I've been spending time with family and friends, and am just enjoying life and being social again. I went out for a girls night last night and I was thinking of how different things are from last October when I was still recovering from chemo. I had a moment of feeling so, so grateful.
I am seizing every opportunity to have fun.
Along those lines, Jeff and I booked Jamaica for my 40th birthday in January. But it felt a bit far away, and I do feel I need a bit of time off sooner. Since the gradual return and my new job, I haven't taken any time off and I want to make sure I am still taking care of me! So we booked a last minute trip to Nassau for mid November. I can't wait. I've never been to the Bahamas and I am excited to experience something new.
My body is tired. From working hard and living hard. I know I need to schedule more down time. Part of my feels like I still have a ticking clock though - and I just want to fit as much in as I can. I WANT to live hard. I want to grab onto life and enjoy the moments and experiences as much as possible.
Cancer doesn't give you a heads up that it is coming (or coming back). I am reminded often that it can be devastating. Other family and friends get diagnosed and I am reminded. Gord Downie passes away from cancer and I am reminded. I have flashbacks to my experience, or get overwhelmed with fear of recurrence (yes this still happens often!) and I am reminded.
I can't say it enough that the most important lesson from having cancer is to be grateful for each day - and do what you can to make a lot of good days happen! Live a life of contentment. Create those experiences that fill you up, that give you happiness.
On the weekends I've been spending time with family and friends, and am just enjoying life and being social again. I went out for a girls night last night and I was thinking of how different things are from last October when I was still recovering from chemo. I had a moment of feeling so, so grateful.
I am seizing every opportunity to have fun.
Along those lines, Jeff and I booked Jamaica for my 40th birthday in January. But it felt a bit far away, and I do feel I need a bit of time off sooner. Since the gradual return and my new job, I haven't taken any time off and I want to make sure I am still taking care of me! So we booked a last minute trip to Nassau for mid November. I can't wait. I've never been to the Bahamas and I am excited to experience something new.
My body is tired. From working hard and living hard. I know I need to schedule more down time. Part of my feels like I still have a ticking clock though - and I just want to fit as much in as I can. I WANT to live hard. I want to grab onto life and enjoy the moments and experiences as much as possible.
Cancer doesn't give you a heads up that it is coming (or coming back). I am reminded often that it can be devastating. Other family and friends get diagnosed and I am reminded. Gord Downie passes away from cancer and I am reminded. I have flashbacks to my experience, or get overwhelmed with fear of recurrence (yes this still happens often!) and I am reminded.
I can't say it enough that the most important lesson from having cancer is to be grateful for each day - and do what you can to make a lot of good days happen! Live a life of contentment. Create those experiences that fill you up, that give you happiness.
The secret suckiness of life after breast cancer
I can relate to a lot of the points in this article. As I am approaching my one year anniversary of being cancer free, I am so grateful and yet I still have highs and lows. My body isn’t the same it was. My mind isn’t the same it was. My heart isn’t the same it was. In some ways I am a fuller and more loving person with a renewed zest for living....and in some ways I mourn who I was before all this. I am in no way “over” it - still working through it. As I said to a friend last night - I feel like I am still in the process of getting my life back.
Sunday, 15 October 2017
Monday, 9 October 2017
6 month follow up at Princess Margaret
This past week I had my 6 month checkup with Dr. Conrad, the radiation oncologist. The anticipation of the appointment was worse than the actual meeting. I talked about my transition back to work and some residual side effects, and she did a physical exam. All went well.
I have mixed feelings going into that hospital. It's been a nice break not going there - when I get there it feels strangely comforting and anxiety ridden at the same time!
One of the main things (other than fatigue and trying to regain full stamina again) that I mentioned in terms of side effects is the neuropathy. I still get the tingly feet a bit and more recently my hands have been a bit achy. It seems worse when the weather is rainy. It's not much fun. Chemo certainly does a number on your body and I have read that it ages you 10 years. Weird to think I am in a 50 year old body the moment. Most days I don't feel that way though.
I had a session with Dr. Hunter this week too, and it was so nice to see him and give a bit of an update. I talked about my transition back to work and to my new job and how happy I am with the change. He's been a big cheerleader of mine over the last year and I don't know what I'd have done without him! He told me I could make a follow up for 3 months from now, but if I don't feel I need it I can cancel. So in a way, I was given the green light to be "released" from his care. Feels a bit scary but also like maybe it is time. I would say that although I am still managing my stamina, emotionally and psychologically I am in a pretty good place and have moved through the traumatic events of the past 16 months. I guess I should give myself a pat on the back for that.
I have mixed feelings going into that hospital. It's been a nice break not going there - when I get there it feels strangely comforting and anxiety ridden at the same time!
One of the main things (other than fatigue and trying to regain full stamina again) that I mentioned in terms of side effects is the neuropathy. I still get the tingly feet a bit and more recently my hands have been a bit achy. It seems worse when the weather is rainy. It's not much fun. Chemo certainly does a number on your body and I have read that it ages you 10 years. Weird to think I am in a 50 year old body the moment. Most days I don't feel that way though.
I had a session with Dr. Hunter this week too, and it was so nice to see him and give a bit of an update. I talked about my transition back to work and to my new job and how happy I am with the change. He's been a big cheerleader of mine over the last year and I don't know what I'd have done without him! He told me I could make a follow up for 3 months from now, but if I don't feel I need it I can cancel. So in a way, I was given the green light to be "released" from his care. Feels a bit scary but also like maybe it is time. I would say that although I am still managing my stamina, emotionally and psychologically I am in a pretty good place and have moved through the traumatic events of the past 16 months. I guess I should give myself a pat on the back for that.
Hair watch - one year post chemo!
One year post chemo and I had hoped my hair would be longer but it’s on the way! Blessed to be where I am now.😊
Saturday, 7 October 2017
Run for the cure 2017!
Last Sunday Shannon and I ran the run for the cure 2017! It was a fun event and a bit emotional too. Together we raised almost 3000 dollars which is so amazing!
As I was running I thought a lot about the last year/16 months and I am a bit amazed how far I have come. I feel very grateful for my state of health today and was able to run it in 37 min - which isn’t fast by any means but it was faster than my practice times and I think I was one of the only survivors to run it period! Most walked.
I am very grateful for a wonderful friend who shared this day with me too.
I also met Dr. Alexandra Ginty who wrote the book “Both sides” - part of it talks about how being a breast cancer survivor has influenced her role as a doctor. There is also a lot of inspirational poems and quotes and general advice that helped me move forward from my own diagnosis.
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