One Year post treatment

On January 26th it was one year from my last radiation treatment.  I remember that day well!  I remember the relief of walking out of that hospital, and how broken I was physically and emotionally.  My skin was burnt to a crisp and I was beyond done.

I'm in a much better place these days. I have my life back.  I have taken charge of my career again. I am enjoying the freedom of being "normal" and doing what I want to do - travelling, enjoying time with friends and family,  pushing myself physically in my exercising, and feeling generally well.

Of course life after cancer isn't a straight line!  Last thursday I found out I have shingles.  Apparently this is more common for people who have gone through cancer treatment, due to the compromised immune system.  So today I am not quite myself. I feel tired and nauseous and have some pain. It reminds me of being in treatment to a certain degree and the frustration with not being well enough to do what I want when I want.  But it is shingles -- not cancer.  I hope to feel better later this week, and on the weekend we are doing a belated family birthday celebration with Jeff's parents, for myself and my sister in law, another January baby.  I hope I am in good shape by then!

I am not taking healthy days for granted anymore.  If anything, this is my lesson from being diagnosed with cancer.  I think what I struggle with is not pushing myself too hard, or trying to do too much.  I want to live life hard and it has caught up with me.  I spent the last week acting for my director, and it was a doozy.   I think my body was worn out from the long hours and stress, and it is telling me so.  Just a reminder to not overdo it - I need to be more careful going forward, as my health is #1!!

This is 40!

I turned 40 on January 5th in Jamaica! It was a great birthday and great trip. On my actual birthday Jeff and I did hot stone massages in one of the huts on the cliff, enjoying the ocean waves.  We had a lot of fun, and it was so relaxing. Sans Souci truly is paradise.

I also had some cake with family at Xmas time, and a karaoke/dinner night out with the Toronto friends. I’m a lucky girl. Lots of celebrations!

I am grateful to see another birthday. I was thinking of Carmen a lot, as she died 3 days before her 40th. It’s truly a privilege to turn another year older. So so grateful for my life and my health.

Decide

We're all going to die. We don't get much say over how or when, but we do get to decide how we're gonna live. So, do it. Decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More Compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out and decide.

-greys anatomy 

Yes

Happy holidays and happy new year

What a difference from last Christmas! I am not in treatment and was able to really enjoy the season.  Lots of festivities at work and with family. I feel very blessed to be here and able to celebrate. 

The first photo is December 24 2016 and December 24 2017. I’ve come a long way baby!

Off to Jamaica to celebrate my 40th birthday :)