Hair update #7

12 weeks post chemo hair! Slow and steady wins the race right? Lol

Happy new year! 🎊 

 

 

Double digits!

Today was radiation #10,

So I am now in double digits and also one third of the way done! Woot!

Love your life

 

Courage

"You can't show courage without fear."

I saw this quote on Facebook and it really resonated with me.   Being diagnosed with cancer was one of the most frightening experiences I have had, and I spent a lot of time in 2016 being full of fear.  I hope I never feel that frightened again.

Having something like this happen to you, there is always alittle fear that stays with you - because you have confronted your own mortality and you realize things aren't in your control.  All you can try to do is live in the moment, and appreciate every day.  There are no guarantees in this life.  But you can have courage and be grateful.

To all my breast cancer sisters, we are queens of courage!

The best gift 🎁

So much to be grateful for this Christmas. My treatment has gone as well as it could and the best gift for me and my loved ones is to be a cancer survivor. 

It's a second chance. Every day is truly a gift.

 

 

Hair update #6

Hair update 11 weeks post chemo. It is really coming in, in the back. I expect the front will fill out in a couple weeks.

Merry Christmas!🎁🎄 

 

 

 

Amazing article by an oncology nurse turned patient - Must read!

https://herecomesthesun927.com/2016/11/14/dear-every-cancer-patient-i-ever-took-care-of-im-sorry-i-didnt-get-it/

You are enough

“Let whatever you do today be enough. Let go of the judgement you have about what you should be or could be doing, and today, allow yourself to simply be. Comparing yourself and your journey may be habitual, but it gets you nowhere. It makes you feel worse and it keeps you stuck. So stop fixating on where everyone else is, and start giving yourself permission to be exactly where you are. 

Quiet the voice telling you to do more and be more, and trust that in this moment, who you are, where you are at, and what you are doing is enough. You will get to where you need to be in your own time. Until then, breathe. Breathe and be patient with yourself and your process. You are doing the best you can to cope and survive amid your struggles, and that’s all you can ask of yourself. It’s enough. You are enough.” 

– Daniell Koepke

You've been assigned this mountain

 

Week one done!

Today was my 5th radiation session, so I am now one week down, 5 to go.

I read somewhere that radiation is a bit like experiencing groundhog day and I can see how that is the case. It gets repetitive and blends together a bit.

Of the 5 sessions I have had, 3 were on time, and 2 were 30-40 min late.  Not much I can do about it! Apparently they see 400 patients a day for radiation, and with the weather lately not everyone is one time.  Today, they were having issues with the machine so it wasn't anyones fault. I could tell the techs felt bad about it.

Feeling alittle bit of fatigue but that could be the early mornings and the fact that I am still working out :)  My skin seems to be holding up ok so far, it is itchy in some parts at times but the colour hasn't changed much yet which is great.

Tomorrow I see the doctor for my weekly checkup.  Onward and upward!

Hair update #5

10 weeks post chemo hair - taken after I exercised this morning. Wish it would grow faster already! But happy things are happening. Lol

 

2 down and 28 to go

I've completed 2 sessions radiation and the actual treatment is quick and easy.  I lie down and the radiation techs position the machine - this takes the most time - and then they leave the room and the radiation starts. The machine revolves around and stops periodically and there is buzzing.

Eventually they come back in and say I'm done!

I am with treatment team 14 and here are some pic from today when I was waiting to go in.

Over time I am sure I will have more side effects but so far so good.

Also they have given me mostly early mornings for the next week or so, which I am glad about.  The most tedious part really is the drive!  

 

 

Here we go again!

Radiation starts tomorrow! I can't say I am looking forward to it but at least it is the last leg of this journey. Dr Conrad said that without radiation the recurrence rate is 15-20 percent and with it, it goes down to less than 5 percent. So it is a no brainer of course. I have to throw everything I can at it, as with triple negative there is no hormonal treatment like with other breast cancers. 

Praying for all to go well for this next process and also hoping for good driving weather if at all possible.

 

A lot left to live for

 

Hair update #4

9 weeks past chemo and the back is filling in quite a bit! The front hairline is getting there too but it is slower than the rest still :)

 

 

Brows and lashes are close to fully back!

 

A couple of new ornaments for the tree :)

Bought these beautiful ornaments off a Canadian seller on Etsy :)

 

 

Radiation start date

I finally received my radiation start date, my first session will be Wednesday, December 14th, at 4:05pm.  Lousy time but the person who called said that hopefully they will try to work with my request for mornings going forward. I think I will be getting weekly schedules, so it may not be the same time each day.   The sessions should be about half an hour so that's good, and I will also have to see my oncologist every Wednesday, so that will extend the time at the hospital on those days. I have to do 30 sessions, and with the weeks of Christmas and New years being only 4 days (no sessions on the Mondays), if all goes well I will be done January 26th.

I am really hoping it all goes well and that I have minimal burning and peeling.  I have seen pictures though, of other women in my online group, and they did burn and peel quite badly near the end. The key is to moisturize several times a day. 

30 sessions is the max anyone can do.  Just like chemo, they are really throwing this at me!  Given other women I know have done 20 or so sessions and had bad burns I am a bit nervous.  But they did heal quite quickly and well. 

I have to wait 4 weeks to be in the sun, so we booked our Jamaica trip for March 1-10, which is 5 weeks after I finish.  I should be healed by then :)
It is nice to have something to look forward to!  That trip will be well deserved for sure.  After the marathon of these past months, I can't wait to do something fun and indulgent.

Racing against time

https://www.facebook.com/RethinkBreastCancer/videos/10154581184302552/

Appointments with dr Amir and dr Hunter

First off I have to say how much respect and admiration I have for these two doctors. Well all the doctors on my team really. 

I saw dr Amir yesterday as the follow up to the pathology report. It was a bit anti climactic as I knew the results already but still nice to close the loop and to thank him for everything he has done for me. Really the chemo regime he put me through, as much as it sucked like nothing I have ever done before, saved my life. How can you thank someone enough for that? 

I also took the opportunity to ask about chemo brain, and he told me it usually hits it worst peak 6 weeks after chemo (which was 2 weeks ago for me) and it may get better in 6 months to a year, it varies by patient. I hope it gets better before I go back into the workplace. I might try doing brain exercises.

Dr Amir said I can come back to see him in six months as my last appointment to discuss any concerns or lingering side effects. It is a bit scary that I won't be under his care anymore. But I think my surgeon will continue to see me regularly.

I went to my appointment with dr Hunter next.  It was a great session, I always feel so validated and less weighed down after we talk.

I recapped my last month and the surgery and pathology report and he seemed genuinely happy for me that the cancer is gone!  I talked to him about how cancer is a crap shoot, and with the anniversary of Carmen's death also this month I said how crazy and unfair it is that if you don't catch it early enough you are screwed. I get to be here and she doesn't and I do feel like a bit of survivor guilt about that. But what was I going to do, lay down and die? Not a chance and she wouldn't want that either.   Given how emotional this month has been I told him how I feel grateful but also exhausted and he said of course you do.

Even with the good news, I still have trouble sleeping through the night. I usually wake up around 2am and am awake for an hour or more. He suggested trying a meditation app that I can use anytime really but I can turn it on when I wake up in the middle of the night like that, to try to get my body back to a restful state.

I am hopeful it will help.

Overall it was a good day at the hospital. Still waiting to hear when radiation starts. I may not have to go down at all this coming week, which will be a nice break before 6 weeks of treatment.