It's been about a week and a half since my surgery and physically I am recovering quite well. I am much less sore. I still have the steri strips on so I haven't seen the incisions yet but hopefully they are healing ok. I've been doing the arm exercises and I have full mobility in my arm and shoulder which is great. I see the doctor next Wednesday.
Jeff has gone back to work and Mimi and I miss him a lot. Sometimes cancer can be pretty lonely. I am trying to keep busy with different things and I am going to start exercising again which I am happy about.
I've finished two major hurdles now, with chemo and surgery. It's funny because some people are saying to me "you're almost done!"
And yes I am 2/3s done but I still have 6 weeks of radiation coming up Monday to Friday. That is a lot of hospital time! As much as I would like off this cancer treatment train and have a normal life again, I am not yet done this marathon. It truly is an emotional and physical marathon.
Someone said to me the other day, "I sometimes forget you have cancer." Well unfortunately I can't forget. Even if I am having a good mental day, I look in the mirror and don't recognize myself - it's an instant reminder of where I am at right now.
I went through something incredibly tragic losing my daughter. It took years to recover and killed part of me. And I can say this current test is just as goddamn fucking hard, in different ways. It is taking a resilience that is sometimes hard to muster.
Luckily I have a few more weeks break to regroup before radiation starts -- from a physical and mental perspective it is so important.
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