Skin and Hair update

Well despite being done treatment, I am still living with the side effects of radiation. My neck, breast and armpit are pretty discoloured, but my neck is the worst - it is red, peeling/blistering and still hurts.   My armpit is brown and peeling but not blistered.  I am doing saline soaks 4 times a day and that seems to be helping. It hurts to put anything rough near my neck, so even walking the dog I try to be careful, putting a soft scarf around my neck before I put on my jacket.  Can't wait til the skin heals!! It may take a few weeks for the colour to get back to normal.

16 weeks post chemo and my hair is pretty filled in, which makes me happy.  No more bald spots.  Now I just need it to grow, grow, grow!  Maybe with less stress on my body it will pick up the pace.

My skin on Friday - ouch!!!

 

A bit better today 

 

Hair - 16 weeks post chemo 

 

I'm a survivor!!!

 

 

 

 

Treatment complete!

Yesterday was my last radiation session. I was very excited to swipe my card for the last time! Everything went very smoothly and I was done by 8:20! They gave me a book about life after treatment which I am looking forward to reading, I hope it will help me cope with the transition. When I left the hospital I felt such a surge of relief take over my body. I got to the car and cried. And I took a little video to capture the emotion of that moment. Happy happy tears!!!

 

 

 

I've done all I could

It feels a bit strange to be finishing treatment.  Fighting cancer has been my full time job since June.  My body and mind will take sometime to wind down after months of being on high alert, in a state of tension and constantly digging in to get to the end of this marathon.

There is something comforting being in active treatment.  As much as I have hated it, for the last 7-8 months I knew that the cancer is being fought and I am winning.

As treatment ends, I need to try to find peace with that, and believe that I killed it all and it will not come back.

I do believe I was cancer free on November 8th, the date of my surgery. The pathology report confirmed no evidence of cancer remained. I got my pathological complete response. Statistically this is the best possible scenario.

I know I've done all I could to fight this disease.    I went to the best cancer hospital in Toronto and probably in Canada, a world renowned organization.   I had an amazing team of doctors who created the best treatment plan for me, based on my type of breast cancer, my age, and what they know in terms of latest research.

I did the most chemo your body can take - 8 high dose treatments, 4 AC and 4 Paclitaxel.

I did a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy, based on my surgeon's advice that in my case a mastectomy doesn't mean any better outcomes.

I was given the maximum radiation as well, 30 sessions, 25 regular/5 boosters.

When I got my strength back after chemo I started exercising again.  I have changed to a plant based diet to help nourish my body. I am getting my body back in shape.  I have cut down/out many harmful foods and drink much less alcohol.

At the end of the day, I know I've done all I could to be cancer free and stay that way.

Booster #28

I had a trying radiation session today.  I was in the room for probably 30 minutes instead of the usual 10 and most of that time was trying to lie still.

There was a new tech there, probably filling in for someone from my regular rotation. She set me up initially, and then they did the "scan" part - this is new for the booster sessions, as the machine takes quite a bit of time rotating around me and I think they can see/check the placement in the other room.

Well the first placement didn't work.  They came in and got me to get right off the table, and start all over again.  The other tech set me up this time.  Out they went and the whole rotation started again.  And then I waited.  For what felt like an eternity!  No zapping.

I was kind of worried I was misplaced again and would have to start all over a 3rd time.  Eventually, the treatment did start.  It was very hard to lie still and stay calm.  I am just so over the treatment at this point.

Also - during the second placement, Angel's song, A Thousand Years, came on.  This is the song that Shannon made Angel's video with, and it always makes me think of her.  Hard to stay still and keep it together when that happened!  But I did wonder if it was a sign that she was there for me in that moment.

At the end, the new tech helped me off the table and said, "have you noticed weight loss recently?"  And I said yes, my appetite hasn't been the same lately and I am also working out.  Well apparently the weight loss, is affecting their ability to get me in the right position!  She said that the reason the second time took so long was they had to get placement checked and get the "go ahead."    I feel a bit bad about that but not really.  I am trying to get back in shape and eat healthy, and sometimes I don't feel as hungry because of the radiation.

After 7-8 months of being poisoned, cut up, and burned, it does feel like I have little resilience left to put up with any issues.  Luckily I only have 2 more sessions left.

Here are the lyrics from Angel's song.  Isn't it a good one? One step closer.



A Thousand Years

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt, suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday, waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything, take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath, every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died everyday, waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed, I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

I have died everyday, waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed, I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

Here we go again

At the hospital for last week of radiation. So over it! My neck and armpit are very sore and even sting, so I am glad they aren't getting zapped anymore. My breast is quite discoloured too.

Digging deep to finish this off!

 

Hair update #10

15 weeks post chemo and I am feeling more comfortable with the coverage. Still want it thicker in the front! But I've come a long way from the baldie in November!