Appointments with dr Amir and dr Hunter

First off I have to say how much respect and admiration I have for these two doctors. Well all the doctors on my team really. 

I saw dr Amir yesterday as the follow up to the pathology report. It was a bit anti climactic as I knew the results already but still nice to close the loop and to thank him for everything he has done for me. Really the chemo regime he put me through, as much as it sucked like nothing I have ever done before, saved my life. How can you thank someone enough for that? 

I also took the opportunity to ask about chemo brain, and he told me it usually hits it worst peak 6 weeks after chemo (which was 2 weeks ago for me) and it may get better in 6 months to a year, it varies by patient. I hope it gets better before I go back into the workplace. I might try doing brain exercises.

Dr Amir said I can come back to see him in six months as my last appointment to discuss any concerns or lingering side effects. It is a bit scary that I won't be under his care anymore. But I think my surgeon will continue to see me regularly.

I went to my appointment with dr Hunter next.  It was a great session, I always feel so validated and less weighed down after we talk.

I recapped my last month and the surgery and pathology report and he seemed genuinely happy for me that the cancer is gone!  I talked to him about how cancer is a crap shoot, and with the anniversary of Carmen's death also this month I said how crazy and unfair it is that if you don't catch it early enough you are screwed. I get to be here and she doesn't and I do feel like a bit of survivor guilt about that. But what was I going to do, lay down and die? Not a chance and she wouldn't want that either.   Given how emotional this month has been I told him how I feel grateful but also exhausted and he said of course you do.

Even with the good news, I still have trouble sleeping through the night. I usually wake up around 2am and am awake for an hour or more. He suggested trying a meditation app that I can use anytime really but I can turn it on when I wake up in the middle of the night like that, to try to get my body back to a restful state.

I am hopeful it will help.

Overall it was a good day at the hospital. Still waiting to hear when radiation starts. I may not have to go down at all this coming week, which will be a nice break before 6 weeks of treatment.