The infamous neulasta shot

This is the shot I give myself after every chemo to help my white blood cell count... And below is the lovely price tag for each one! 

Chemo #6 complete!

I am officially 75 percent done chemo! Only two more to go. The end is really in site now.

Yesterday ran very smoothly and for that I am grateful. We got there at 8 and they did my blood and cleaned my picc almost right away.  We spoke to the doctor shortly after and he confirmed my side effects all seemed normal, in terms of the flushed face the day after (said it was probably the steroids) and the bone pain. I asked if I could try Advil for the bone pain and he said that is fine, it may cause heartburn but if it does I can use tums. I am hoping an anti inflammatory will be a better fix for the bone pain. It will most likely start tomorrow again.

I mentioned my nails are changing colour so he said to put the ice on my hands and feet this time during treatment, which I did. 

We talked about my follow up with dr. Easson (the surgeon) next week and he said she will probably get me to do another mri before the surgery date. I expected that would be the case, as they need to check what if any of the lump is left. 

I didn't wait long for treatment to start either. My nurse was Nancy and she was on it! She also asked if I wanted a bed this time and I said yes. It wasn't busy so Jeff also get a recliner chair for himself. She is so great, such a nice woman.  It was more comfortable than the chair and the benedryl they give me knocks me out!  My oncologist said that I could potentially skip the pre drugs for the last two sessions since I am not nauseous and am reacting ok. I hope that is the case! The steroids give me insomnia so I'd love to cut those out.

We finished around 2:30, which was quicker than last time. So far so good. I feel ok today, and am hoping the bone pain is manageable this time.

Oh another lovely side effect, my eyebrows and eyelashes are falling out now :(

At least it is toward the end of chemo so hopefully they will grow back in October. I am getting good at drawing eyebrows lol

Here are some photos from yesterday. And alittle motivation. 

It's up to us

Ha!

The look ahead

Every Canadian probably knows that gord downie of the tragically hip has brain cancer. But did you know his wife had breast cancer 5 years ago? His album at the time "now for plan A" had many songs related to their journey, and Jeff came across an interview with downie where he talks about the personal circumstances.  Towards the end of the interview the reporter asks him about the song the look ahead - there is a line at the end "Come on honey just give me that look ahead."  He talks about how it means that SHE knows it is going to be alright. No matter what. He says, "she's got it, she always had it, but it diminished at that moment a little bit, and you realize how much you need it, how much I rely on it, and she's got it back."

I've certainly had those moments when I couldn't see much farther than the current pain, and that's when Jeff and my other family and friends have helped me move past it. I am sure there will be more.

It's hard be strong and positive one hundred percent of the time. But that doesn't mean I am giving up!!

This interview gave me perspective on what others might be feeling about me as I fight the cancer. It hurts my heart a little bit. 

https://youtu.be/x4k57AZ92tM

Breast cancer PSA

http://blog.thebreastcancersite.com/first-haircut-psa/?utm_source=bcs-wearpr&utm_medium=social-fb&utm_term=20160902&utm_content=link&utm_campaign=first-haircut-psa&origin=bcs_wearpr_social_fb_link_first-haircut-psa_20160902

The M word

The "m" word in the cancer world is metastasized. This means the cancer has spread to other areas of your body.  Many people probably think cancer is a scary word but I think metastasized is scarier.

I feel very lucky that my breast cancer was detected early and my other scans were clear. That is an optimistic situation. And I really do believe I will have a positive outcome. Unless told otherwise, I intend to be deemed cancer free in early 2017.

But because of my diagnosis and also seeing my cousin deal with her colon cancer, my eyes are wide open now that life isn't always fair and there are lots of poor outcomes out there.  I am in an online support group for woman with breast cancer and several have metastasized cancer and some are essentially in a palliative care situation. I feel for them and know it must be incredibly difficult. 

 

In the last 5 years I have been smacked in the face with a few (too many!) experiences that make me realize how precious life is - and also how unfair - and the thing I take away is no matter what always try to be grateful. 

Forget the fear. Live as present as possible. Love and laugh and live!!!

It is so important to make the most out of the time you have because you never know when your time is up. It is not something we control.  But you can control your attitude and intention while you are here.